Punch-out at the OK Corral!

Cyclist offends local, gets “what he had coming” to him!!!

“That guy doesn’t know when to shut up,” friend says

Tour group flees town; believed to be heading toward Great Bend

(AP) Dodge City, Kansas:  A night at a local bar ended in tears for a group of visiting cyclists, as they learned a few lessons about how to conduct themselves while away from home. Tom Stenovec, of San Luis Obispo, ended up with two black eyes and a serious case of “I told you so” as he was dragged from the Snake Pit by a number of men dressed, incredibly, in various impossible shades of spandex.

“Honestly, you could see this coming three days ago,” said Shane Molloy, a friend of Stenovec’s and a witness to the scene. “I don’t know what gets into him but in Ireland we know better than to run our mouths when we’re strangers in town. By the way, has anyone seen a little man in a green suit running around? He promised to do something for me…”

Molloy was right, others said. In Dalhart, witnesses reported that Stenovec’s clumsy attempt to flirt with the bartender—a woman who, had she not been wearing a blond clown wig, might have been mistaken for a fire hydrant—by offering to smash his beer bottle against the wall led to her threatening to “whup his ass.” “She said she didn’t know him that well, but she’d do it anyway,” Floris van Overvald told this reporter. “Americans are so refreshingly intimate with strangers,” he added.

In Liberal, Kansas, meanwhile, it took Stenovec only a few words to get the waitress to call him “the devil.” “I thought I was being adorable,” he said. “But apparently my West Coast humor doesn’t go down as well out here. I guess I was distracted by her hip black plastic frames.”

As for Dodge City, here’s how it happened: while sitting at a bar, Stenovec turned to a local resident and began to tell a joke. As his friends put their heads in their hands or attempted to walk away quietly, he said, “So, a Polack, a monkey, and a Jew from Dodge City walk into a bar…” “Are you calling me a Jew?” the man responded, and promptly punched Stenovec in the face.

“It was kind of amazing—he took the hit and popped right up,” said eyewitness Roger Egli. “He was like a fucking weeble wobble doll; it was like his feet were nailed to the floor.” Stenovec took a second punch but jumped back up again. The third hit sent him tumbling, and his friends intervened.

“I was worried he’d get up all night,” said Eric Hayot. “Dude is tough as nails, but he has enough brain damage as it is. So we distracted the guy, hustled Tom out of the bar, and replaced him on the floor with a GI Joe doll dressed in a lime-green windbreaker. Honestly, you could barely tell the difference, and the guy walked away happy. Tom kept shouting “SLO represent” as we dragged him out the door, but  no one noticed.