Wednesday, May 29, 2013





The Art of Rest and Recovery


Hi 

After completing 3400+ miles on our cross country ride,  I thought it would be appropriate to offer some insight on rest and recovery.  They key factor is rest.  I have spent the last 5 days reclining on a polar bear skin rug in a temperature controlled room:





The only times that I move is to go to the bathroom and to receive my twice daily deep tissue massage.  Every morning I review the day's meal plan with my wife,  and then she is off to shop and cook for the remainder of the day.  She was shocked that I was gone for 5 weeks,  she finally realized I was missing when I called from Topeka.

Fluid replenishment is very important.  During the day I stay with our chocolate milkshake routine.  At night I prefer beer (only from microbreweries).

After a week you should start with mild exercise, such as walking to the jacuzzi.  Under no circumstances should you get involved with housework or other menial labor, it will ruin the recovery process.

Week 3 is the first week you should return to the bike.  The rides should be flat, if there is wind your wife needs to provide a draft with her SUV, van, or other large vehicle.

You should be ready to return to your regular routine in week 4, stronger than ever.  You will dominate your club rides.

Oh, by the way, if you have a job all bets are off.  If you need to return to work after this trip, you will never recover.

All the best.

Tom

Friday, May 24, 2013



Boston MA


Multiple choice:

A) I dress to embarrass my kids
B) I am moving to Miami Beach
C) I want to look like a german tourist
D) I was naive enough to believe Dr. Westerman's advice on compression socks


Random Random Thoughts

Hi

I am Logan airport waiting for the LA flight.  Harvard final exams were over today, so the coffee shop in Cambridge was littered with Ritalin (got them through TSA, so call me).  Thus, more random random thoughts:

3410 miles
18.5 avg mph
184 hrs 21 min on the bike
906,876 pedal strokes per leg (1,813,752 total)
1,349,000 heartbeats
198 bananas consumed
4 tubes chamois cream
54 Starbucks canned double shots (my secret weapon)
16 gallons gatorade
18 gallons water
6 close calls for indecent exposure- peeing on side of road
1 close call for felony - peeing on side of road (across from elem  school violtaing terms of my probation)
1 crime against nature - applying chamois cream  in public on side of road
2 pulled stomach muscles laughing at Floris quoting dialog of "Pulp Fiction" in its entirety
2 pair queen sized panty hose ruined (control top)




Hi

Floris and I are sitting in a chic coffee shop in Cambridge enjoying the local culture.  It is an interesting combo of nerds, hipsters, and the calculated Ivy League disheveled careless affluent.

Some random observations post-ride:

No significant rain!!!! Being the superstitious type, I never wanted to mention the weather for fear of the dreaded jinx.  I hate riding in the rain.  But we were lucky.  When you purchase $600 worth of high tech rain gear I guess it helps repel the storms.  We had significant rain several nights, and it is raining today.

Worst Fall   Again being superstitious (and given my ninja-like bike handling skills) I never wanted to mention the dreaded bike crash.  Now that the ride is over, I can tell you about the worst fall that I took on the trip.  It occurred in Dunkirk NY.  I woke in the middle of the night to close my window.  In the dark, without my glasses, I tripped over my luggage and bruised my lower back on the coffee table, causing both thighs to seize up in cramps.  My first thought was not having my medic alert bracelet
(Help!!! I've fallen and I can't get up).  But i rallied and made it back to bed.  The two 24 oz beers (designated"Brutus" size at Applebees) were  definitely not a contributing factor.  This is actually the second worst bike related fall this year.  The worst was when I fell off my stationary bike in the garage.  The bike's seat post bolt broke, I stayed clipped in, and ended up flat on my back on the floor with the bike on top.

The rain has let up, we are getting motivated to see the sights.   I will grab a ritalin to from one of the Harvard kids so I can come up with more random thoughts.

Tom


Thursday, May 23, 2013


The End 

Hi

I finished the last leg of my coast to coast ride today,  117 miles from Keene NH to Amesbury MA.  Final stats are 3410 miles ridden in 31 days at an avg. speed of 18.5 MPH.  I am off to our closing banquet now,  but I will provide some pithy commentary in the next few days.

Tom


Atlantic Ocean



Wednesday, May 22, 2013



Hi

The second to the last day of our ride was one to remember.   The route took us from Amsterdam NY into southern Vermont.  We rode Rte 9E,  passing through Bennington VT,  and had a couple great climbs accompanied by screaming descents.  Bicycle descents are commonly rated on the white knuckle scale; a rating of 1 white knuckle equates with the mundane (riding down my driveway), up to 10 white knuckles being "oh shit, I did that and lived".  We had 2 descents which were solid 8.5's and a  couple of 7's.  The scenery was great,  and going through Vermont brought back a lot of good memories of the time we lived on the East Coast.   We had a solid ride, averaging 18.3 mph, and 186 watts for 125 miles with 7700 ft of climbing.

We have our last day tomorrow,  and we will have ridden over 3300 miles.  I will have to come up with some profound thoughts for my final blog.  I bet you can't wait for that.

Tom  
















Day 32 Amstedam NY - Keene NH 125 Miles
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/316690990

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Hi

We have had 2 great days cycling through upstate NY, and passed the 3,000 mile mark.  On Monday we went through the finger lakes region which was spectacular.  We had the best view of Seneca Lake as we passed through Geneva NY, than paralleled the Erie Canal to Onondaga Lake which is close to Rochester NY.

On Tuesday rode along the Mohawk Valley, and had some good climbs with great views of the valley. We ended up in Amsterdam NY.  Amsterdam is a former textile town which has definitely seen its better days.  It is home to the Pro Wrestling Hall of Fame.  I was really bummed it was closed,  I'm a huge fan.

Tom




Day 30 Batavia NY - Liverpool NY 125 miles
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/315806033

Day 31 Liverpool NY -  Amsterdam NY 120 miles
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/316253425

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Niagara Falls

Hi  

We were originally scheduled for an 89 mile ride from Dunkirk NY to Batavia NY, which would have been fine with me.  But Floris couldn't pass up the opportunity to take a 30 mile detour to visit Niagara Falls.  With the benefit of map my ride and his trusty Garmin, Floris downloaded our route.   We rode along Lake Erie and into suburban Buffalo where we had our first introduction to Tim Horton donuts.  We followed a bike path through the Buffalo waterfront which is littered with abandoned factories and grain elevators.  The route we downloaded took us directly to a dead-end at a demolished bridge.  Being ever resourceful, we used excellent cyclocross technique to climb up to the on - ramp of I- 990 also known as the Buffalo Skyway bridge.



Luckily, because it was Sunday morning and there was not much traffic we made it into downtown, and we were back on route.  Buffalo has a decent network of bike paths along the canals, and we had an interesting ride through the city and headed toward the Niagara.  Pictures don't do it justice, but the falls are pretty amazing. 





It was a gorgeous day in upstate NY, 80 degrees and not a cloud in the sky,  a great day to see the falls.

Without a sag, we were up to our own devices for lunch.  This is what happens when we no longer have adult supervision for our food choices:




Tom


Day 29 Dunkirk NY - Niagara Falls - Batavia NY  121 miles
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/315279727

Photos from Day 28




Putting our passing move on a high performance Amish buggy in Northeastern Ohio:



Hello Pennsylvania for 60 miles





Saturday, May 18, 2013

Hi

I've been hanging out at the bar tonight, so I only have time for a quick update.  It was a long ride that started in Warren OH and went through Erie PA, then along the shore of Lake Erie into NY state.
I'll give more details tomorrow.
 


Warren OH - Dunkirk NY 139 miles

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/314632994

Friday, May 17, 2013

Hi

The ride from Marysville OH to Wooster OH was a real eye opener,  it showed a side of Ohio that I did not know existed.  We went from gently rolling farmland to dense forests, riding through a river valley and then some fairly significant climbs in Pleasant Hill State Park.  We had more good size rollers as we entered Wooster, a nicely gentrifying small town.  Mikey drove down from Oberlin and joined me for dinner.  He's been living on beans and rice in his food co-op, so he seemed to enjoy a good size burger and fries.

Today we rode to Warren, OH.  The ride started in a thick fog, so I felt right at home. The route took us through the industrial outer suburbs of Akron and Canton.  We then entered another  Ohio county which obviously has some significant fiscal issues, the roads were terrible, lots of potholes and cracks.
That part of the ride was a real t___t splitter.  Entering the area around Warren I saw the first signs that we are in the rust belt,  some areas seem to be in real decline.

Speaking of decline,  this has become my nightly ritual:


Nothing like a couple ice packs to ease the aches and pains.

Thats all for now.


Tom


Day 26 : Marysville OH - Wooster OH 105 miles
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/313732071
Day 27 :  Wooster OH - Warren OH  99 miles
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/314041582



Floris posted this nugget:



The downside of altruism: stories from within the A-Team

(Mijn reactie op de brief van Max aan de vrouw van Tom)

And lesson 1 in Dutch cycling expressions……

In a country where socialism is considered a capital crime, altruism must be like a mortal sin? Indeed it has its downsides, as this story from within the A-team reveals.
DSCN0538Every day has a frantic start. The boys start putting the hammer down immediately. It is riding with the ass open (1) straight from the start. This is because Tom wants to show off. Usually younger kids think they look cool when they have older friends. With 60 year old Tom it’s the other way around. He thinks he looks cool hanging out with the younger guys. And to secure his spot in the pecking order, he is eager to show he can still ride.
This utterly annoys Floris, a European snob who rides his bike 1 lousy mile to work every day and has done a couple of Tour de France climbs a couple of times and hence thinks he is a big shot on a bike. He is a slow starter, and having to ride the snot in front of his eyes (2) immediately reminds him of his childhood. He was a weak boy and was always picked on. The whole biking thing is one big compensation. Honestly, who rides a  bike from coast to coast voluntarily? Anyway, the memories wake the worst in him. He just gets fired up and wants REVENGE on those Yankees (which is by the way a word with a Dutch origin).
When Tom goes on one of his frantic starts, David even digs a bit deeper when he is taking the pull. The last thing he wants is to be called a pancake (3) because he is a tough crit-guy from Minnesota. And you don’t mess with a crit-guy from Minnesota. He is not a water porter (4), he is a WINNER! Hell, he’ll do anything to win a sprint for a city limit. ANYTHING. That includes feigning dehydration. Dave knows the tricks of the trade. He knows you have to eat someone else’s plate first before you start eating your own plate (5).
Seeing all this testosterone cycling, Roger just shakes his head. He is glad that he is not in the Mongol-echelon (6)  but cannot stand the view of Tom’s unshaven legs. Roger is notorious for cranking it when there is a tailwind and coming to a complete standstill when there is a headwind. Conclusion: he must be gay. After the frantic start, Roger typically uses his big knife (7) to keep the tempo going.
When the A-team has finished with their frantic duty of overtaking ‘The Others’, things usually settle down for a minute or so. By this time, the guys are so tired they cannot remember to which parish they belong (8).  But after a few quiet minutes, Barbara starts yelling in their well hidden earpieces. “You guys are behind schedule for the lunch SAG. You better lift your asses from that saddle and hurry!”
Shortly after this, a strange stalker in a white van shows up. He is following this bunch of cyclists through the entire country and indulges in taking countless photographs of guys dressed in spandex…… He lowers his windshield and starts slamming the door of his car in a successful Peter Post (9) imitation. “Ride, you bunch of lazy-ass mockeries of cyclists, ride!”
This usually stirs things up a bit among the A-team, and they find their second breath (10). This is also the typical time for Tom to start being a wheelsucker (11) and for Floris to start his compensating behaviour, which is trying to hurt his colleagues by doing relentless, uselessly hard pulls.
When the A-team has barely made it in time to the lunch SAG and has, on the very edge of exhaustion set up all the tables, water, food and chairs for ‘The Others’ to enjoy, they put on their nice faces when the next riders arrive. ‘Show no weakness’ is lesson 2 of cycling. Lesson 1 is ‘do not show off’ but this lesson is wasted on anyone from the US of A.
In a private spot, the A team injects one of the concoctions of ‘The Doc’ intravenously, just to be able to make it through the next leg and arrive in time to unload the luggage.
The next leg is typically even harder than the first leg. This is because more talented cyclists usually take off quite fast after lunch, getting a mere unbridgeable head start on the A-team. Most of all, Floris cannot stand this. He is just unable to accept the fact that there are Americans that are faster on a bike than he is. So he starts one of his potato chases (12) wearing  down the rest of the A-team even more.
By the time the A-team arrives at the destination they sit backward on their bike (13). Because David is a master in this, he usually wins the sprint for the city limit. Which is, in fact, quite pointless because a more talented member of ‘The Others’ is already way past that virtual finish line and is already enjoying a well deserved milkshake and hot tub.
After Barbara is done with scolding the A-team for being too late, again, the 4 men unload the luggage of ‘The Others’. And usually make a mess of it, hence they fully deserve the taunting and cynical remarks ‘The Others’ throw in their direction. After that, they clean Karen’s and Mike’s bike, and help Jim with patching tyres.
By 1 a.m. when they can finally go their rooms, the first thing they do is to take the painting from the wall and hang a fresh bag of blood on the revealed hook. This is the only way they can recover for another day of altruistic duty…….

Dutch cycling expressions explained

(1): riding so hard that sphincters do not function anymore, riding very hard basically
(2): riding on the verge of collapsing
(3): very bad cyclist
(4): domestique, gets the waterbottles for the champions
(5): first wear your adversaries out, then win
(6): every echelon but the first, where the weak and/or dumb cyclists ride
(7): the outer chainring
(8): being on the brink of collapsing, brainfunctions are dead
(9): Dutch cyclist, former winner of Paris-Roubaix and manager of the infamous TI-Raleigh team with Joop Zoetemelk, Jan Raas en Gerrie Knetemann.
(10): some hidden source of energy
(11): no explanation needed
(12): chasse patate,  single rider making a pointless, useless and fruitless attempt to bridge the gap between peloton and breakaway
(13): are exhausted




Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Hi All

Lots of excuses for not posting any info on the ride:
     -Poor Internet connections at our hotels
     -Writers block (due to the incredibly high bar I have set in previous postings)
     -Laziness
     -Exhaustion
The days are a blending in,  half the time I can't remember what town I'm in,  remember my room number, or find my way to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

We had our rest day Saturday in Springfield Ill, and it was a nice break in the routine.  I had a massage in the morning (always dicey googling massage parlors in strange towns), but this was a legit operation.
Got to admit I was a bit disappointed when the masseuse was a 65 yr old 250 lb ex marine, but he was able to work the kinks out of the old legs.  Then we spent the afternoon at the Abraham Lincoln museum which is worth a trip.



Day 22 - Springfield Ill - Tuscola Ill (77 miles)

Nice day,  but had a heckuva time remembering where we were going.  Got an early start Sunday morning, no traffic,  great roads.  It was a quick ride,  ending in Tuscola.  We ate at an Amish Buffet, where I got the waitress to admit the whole Amish thing was a complete scam,  the Amish aren't involved at all.  The Amish really have got to do a better job protecting their trademark.


Day whatever- Tuscola Ill- anonymous town in Indiana (122 miles)

Todays ride got off to a shaky start.  There was a major disaster at breakfast when the 5 in 1 combo fax-printer-scanner-copier -pancake machine failed at breakfast.  Everyone scoured the breakfast buffet for their carbs.

5 in 1 Fax-Printer-Scanner-Copier-Pancake Maker
Luckily, diaster was averted:





Even though I can't remember the name of the town in Indiana,  it was a great ride.  Once again the staff has done a great job picking the route, our time on busy highways was minimal.  We are passing through lots of small towns, some looking more prosperous than others, but all quite interesting in their own ways.


As usual, we all agreed that we were going to take it easy for the day, but also as usual Dave and Floris started picking it up after the lunch stop.  Before I know it we have our rotating paceline going and I am pulling a consistent 190-200 watts  for the last 40 miles of a 120 mile ride.  Thanks to a quartering tailwind we were able to average 21.2 mph for the day.


Day 24 Lebanon IN - Richmond IN (107 miles)

Great weather today, it's finally beginning to warm up. For a change no gloves and knee warmers were needed at the start.  The terrain was very similar to Monday;  gently rolling terrain and meticulously maintained farms.  We also passed through some of the outer suburbs on Indianapolis, good size houses  with huge lawns.

We hit it pretty hard again, and ended up with an average speed of 22.3 mph.

Thanks to his ninja-like bike handling skills Roger was able to take this picture from his bike:


3 of the 4 Horsemen@24 MPH , 2 riders smiling, one not

Day 25 Richmond IN - Marysville OH

Another day another state.  We passed into Ohio today, our second state in the Eastern time zone.   At the risk of being boring and repetitive,  it was another gorgeous day.  We had perfect conditions,  and little traffic.  There were some great stretches where we had the whole road to ourselves, and a nice wind.   At the 40 mile point we hit a "Road Closed - Local Traffic Only" sign.  Dave, in his infinite wisdom, surmised that by allowing local traffic, the road would be passable for bikes.



This is the last time I listen to Dave.   We were able to regain our momentum and averaged 22.3 mph for 105 miles.


Thanks for reading,


Tom


Springfield Ill - Tuscola Ill
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/311800797

Tuscola Ill- Lebanon IN
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/312461556

Lebanon IN - Richmond IN
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/312904783

Richmond IN- Marysville OH
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/313199090

Saturday, May 11, 2013


Shane Molloy's Letter to mom






Shane Molloy, 27, of Killybegs, Donegal, Ireland


Dear Mum

Happy U. S. Mothers Day!  I am still having a great time on my ride.  We just pedaled from Quincy Ill. to Springfield Ill, about 109 miles.  It was cold and damp with grey skies, it felt just like home.  Luckily, the route was flat and we had favorable winds for most of the day.  There wasn't a lot of good scenery, but we did have a few encounters with the local populace ( I believe they are referred to as"rednecks") driving large trucks.  I got the distinct feeling they were not amenable to sharing the road with cyclists, although I may be misinterpreting the horn honks and waving of the middle finger.  Some of these trucks had unusual flags in their rear windows.  After visiting the Abraham Lincoln Museum today, (our rest day) I realized that these flags indicated these drivers are merely history buffs with an affinity to the Southern U.S. of the 1860's.  

I find the riding group quite fascinating.  I am the second youngest, but you wouldn't know by my mates behavior.  It reminds me of one of my grammar school field trips.  They have terrible manners.  The ride leaders are constantly reminding them to wash their hands before eating, none of them listen.  I haven't heard so many fart jokes since I was 12, and they aren't even good.  And by golly, if I hear Dan tell another of his jokes about leprechauns fornicating in a bar, I think I will vomit.  This fellow Tom Stenovec thinks he is funny.  He is constantly calling me his "favorite Irish fish monger",  enough already.  And he is a bloody lazy rider, all he does is draft all day.  There he is in his typical place, on the wheel of Floris.  At least he had the good judgement not to hit on the Amish girls in the wagon, but he sure is giving them a look.

Horse on left, Horses' Ass on right
Riding through the midwest is a bit of a culture shock for me.   With the exception of the "rednecks" most of the people I meet are very friendly, especially the fellows in the NRA tee shirts.  And they sure drink a lot  of soda.  I have found a new meaning for "supersize",  she is filling that 2 liter container  with some concoction  called "Dew of the Mountain."  It does not sound very appetizing, don't they know about sheep?  

Guess who is lurking, have you no pride?

But the Irish know that you should drink from  properly sized containers:


They call this a Large Beer?  Poppycock!


Unfortunately, I lost my roommate Eric.  He really missed his wife and 2 young children,  so he left the tour to see them. I am sorry to see him go, he was a great guy, and I really enjoyed riding with him.  Hopefully he will rejoin us in 5 or 6 days.  The best part of having Eric around at night was that it helped me sleep.  After about 20 minutes of talk about obscure French philosophers and Chinese proverbs,  I would be out like a light.  I guess that's why I never suffered from jet lag when I came to the states.

The ride is going by quickly, we have already completed 3500K, only 2000k to go.  I am off to bed now.  I hope to hear from you soon.


Your Loving Son,  

Shane










Thursday, May 9, 2013


Day 19 Kirksville MO - Quincy Ill  95 miles

We had our last day of Missouri rollers, I am still amazed how much climbing you can do in the flatlands.  Rolling out of Kirksville we got our first real rain of the trip.  We were lucky it never got serious,  just enough to get cold feet and a dirty bike.  We crossed the Mississippi via a small ferry, then had 30 windy wet miles through the river flood plains.  Then 8 hungry dopes decimated the Ruby Tuesday's salad bar and dazzled the waitresses with our cosmopolitan demeanor.


http://connect.garmin.com/activity/310386919
"Let's skip the ferry and swim it for extra miles"

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Hi

I passed the halfway point yesterday just outside of Topeka KA, so we have about 1500 miles to completion.  We have had 2 wonderful, days of riding in Missouri.  The scenery is great, the roads are in good condition, and the traffic is light.  The big surprise for me is the terrain, we had 5500 ft of climbing on Tues, and 6000 ft today.  We have had some incredible views throughout our trip, you can see buildings for miles.  Going through New Mexico we started playing a game, you spot a building in the distance and you have to guess whether it is a correctional institution or a high school.  It's harder than you think.  usually the buses are a giveaway.  Floris made the insightful comment that both have similar objectives, punishment and indoctrination.  As we rode through Kansas we had to add a third possibility, that being megachurch, causing Floris to note that the objectives of all three are the same.

A little known fact about this tour is that you can upgrade to concierge level for a significant extra fee. It is usually reserved for rich republicans, but they made an exception for me.  It is actually quite nice.  Every morning around 5:30 am there is a gentle knock on the door, and it is Barbara delivering a steaming cappuccino and some fresh pastry from a local artisan bakery (amazingly prolific in the midwest).  I then have the option of taking breakfast in my room, or going to breakfast with what I refer to as "the others".  Some mornings I will mingle with them, other times I prefer my privacy.  After dressing, a maid arrives to fold clothes and pack my bags.  Then Jim, my bike valet, delivers my bike to the room.  The previous evening he made the necessary mechanical adjustments, filled the tires, and gave it a good cleaning. Mike, the tour leader,  comes by the room to deliver my route sheet and brief me on the days ride. He always offers to take my luggage and load it in the van, but I refuse, I don't want to look like a total jerk.  Instead, one of the hotel staff takes care of that task. Once on the ride, I don't expect any special treatment.  I want to experience the same challenges as "the others."  At times I have been known to offer minor financial incentives to my riding companions to allow me to draft in their slipstream for extended periods on especially challenging days.  They gladly agree.  It is amazing what "the others" will do for money.  Upon arriving at the hotel after a long ride, I am discreetly escorted to an empty room where a local masseuse is waiting to give me a wonderful hour of deep tissue massage, nothing feels better after a long day on the bike.  After my massage, I go to my room where my bags have been unpacked, and my laundry has been done.  Usually I will go to dinner with "the others" at a local restaurant which I always find a fascinating experience.

Thanks for reading

Tom




Tues: (Day 17) Topeka KA to Cameron MO 124 miles
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/309401216

Wed: (Day 18) Cameron MO to Kirksville MO 119 miles
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/309848829

My Best Friends

Monday, May 6, 2013


Hi

I am half way across the US and I can still walk up a flight of stairs at the end of the day.  But I have been too tired to blog.

Here is a quick summary :


Saturday (Day 14) : Dodge City KS-Great Bend KS  85 miles

This was supposed to be a recovery day, but thanks to winter storm Achilles we had 35-40 mph winds coming at us from about 45 degrees.  Normally, you can ride in an echelon of 4 riders and trade pulls to make some headway.  Unfortunately, we were riding on a narrow shoulder bordered by a 12 inch rumble strip, so the rule of the day was single file, therefore minimal drafting.  The temperature started out in the mid 30's, and never broke 50.  The little guys (me) get especially beat up in these conditions, and I struggled to average 15 mph, but we slogged it out Great Bend.  It was a long day (5:45 hrs ride time 7 hrs total). We were rewarded with the worst hotel to date in Great Bend, a real dump.  But after a chocolate milk shake and a few beers at the finest dining establishment in town (Applebee's), all was well.

Sunday (Day 15) : Great Bend KS - Abilene KS  129 miles

We woke up to overcast skies, temperature in the mid- 30's, but light winds.  About 40 miles into the ride, we finally got a break from the flatlands,  we had some nice rolling hills and some interesting farm towns.  But the best part of the day was dinner at a local Abilene eatery,  1/2 fried chicken, and unlimited cole slaw, mashed  potatoes, biscuits and ice cream for $14.99.  Twenty of us were there, it was quite the scene.

Monday (Day 16) : Abilene KS - Topeka KS  109 miles

It's hard to believe you can do 4500 ft of climbing one 109 miles in Kansas.  it was the best scenery since we left New Mexico.  Great ride.

I am exhausted, but I will try to spice it up bit tomorrow.


Tom



Saturday:
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/307720436

Sunday:
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/308425278

Monday:
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/308922859

I hope there is someone named White.

Friday, May 3, 2013



Punch-out at the OK Corral!
Cyclist offends local, gets “what he had coming” to him!!!
“That guy doesn’t know when to shut up,” friend says
Tour group flees town; believed to be heading toward Great Bend

(AP) Dodge City, Kansas:  A night at a local bar ended in tears for a group of visiting cyclists, as they learned a few lessons about how to conduct themselves while away from home. Tom Stenovec, of San Luis Obispo, ended up with two black eyes and a serious case of “I told you so” as he was dragged from the Snake Pit by a number of men dressed, incredibly, in various impossible shades of spandex.

“Honestly, you could see this coming three days ago,” said Shane Molloy, a friend of Stenovec’s and a witness to the scene. “I don’t know what gets into him but in Ireland we know better than to run our mouths when we’re strangers in town. By the way, has anyone seen a little man in a green suit running around? He promised to do something for me…”

Molloy was right, others said. In Dalhart, witnesses reported that Stenovec’s clumsy attempt to flirt with the bartender—a woman who, had she not been wearing a blond clown wig, might have been mistaken for a fire hydrant—by offering to smash his beer bottle against the wall led to her threatening to “whup his ass.” “She said she didn’t know him that well, but she’d do it anyway,” Floris van Overvald told this reporter. “Americans are so refreshingly intimate with strangers,” he added.

In Liberal, Kansas, meanwhile, it took Stenovec only a few words to get the waitress to call him “the devil.” “I thought I was being adorable,” he said. “But apparently my West Coast humor doesn’t go down as well out here. I guess I was distracted by her hip black plastic frames.”

As for Dodge City, here’s how it happened: while sitting at a bar, Stenovec turned to a local resident and began to tell a joke. As his friends put their heads in their hands or attempted to walk away quietly, he said, “So, a Polack, a monkey, and a Jew from Dodge City walk into a bar…” “Are you calling me a Jew?” the man responded, and promptly punched Stenovec in the face.

“It was kind of amazing—he took the hit and popped right up,” said eyewitness Roger Egli. “He was like a fucking weeble wobble doll; it was like his feet were nailed to the floor.” Stenovec took a second punch but jumped back up again. The third hit sent him tumbling, and his friends intervened.

“I was worried he’d get up all night,” said Eric Hayot. “Dude is tough as nails, but he has enough brain damage as it is. So we distracted the guy, hustled Tom out of the bar, and replaced him on the floor with a GI Joe doll dressed in a lime-green windbreaker. Honestly, you could barely tell the difference, and the guy walked away happy. Tom kept shouting “SLO represent” as we dragged him out the door, but  no one noticed.


Thursday, May 2, 2013

CANCELLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVES DISMAYED 
"BIGGEST TRAGEDY OF MY LIFE"
"PERMANENTLY TRAUMATIZED"
WANDERING DAZED AND CONFUSED IN LIBERAL, KANSAS

Liberal KA (NYT) Weather conditions forced the cancellation of the day 12 Dalhart TX to Liberal KA leg of a planned 33 day cross country bicycle trip.  Cyclists in Dalhart awoke to headwinds gusting to  45 mph, blowing snow and temperatures in the mid 20's. Participants experienced the ultimate humiliation, riding the SAG van to Liberal KA.  

The obsessive compulsive riders were dismayed by the cancellation.  David Pramann of Burns MN questioned the decision of ride leaders.  "Hell, in Minnesota we ride in these conditions all the time. I would've put on some knee warmers and gone for it. Snow's not even sticikin'."

Especially traumatized were the EFI's (Every Fu___ng Inch), riders who insist they ride every inch of the tour no matter conditions, or their life will be unfulfilled.   Once they arrived in Liberal, some made a futile attempt to make up the 114 mile stage by riding around the block at the hotel.  Floris van Overveld of Amsterdam was found at dusk in the hotel parking lot in a stupor vomiting uncontrollably.  "I made 371 laps but I just got so dizzy.  How can I face my mates at my club, Gaul after riding the SAG wagon?  They will laugh me off the team . I am humiliated."  Jeremy Snodgrass of Racine WI was aimlessly roaming the Days Inn lobby muttering "they don't even have spin cycle here, not even a frickin' life cycle, gotta ride, gotta ride, gotta .........."  Roger Egli of Vail CO ran 14 miles and performed 2 hours of calisthenics.  He then explained a complex formula he uses for converting various forms of exercise to biking miles involving a mathematical model developed at an physiology lab in Geneva, Switzerland." I've got 87 miles so far, but I have another 3 hours before bed.  Does this hotel have stairs?" gasped Roger.  Dan Brooks of Atlanta was seen in the parking lot at noon pounding on a blue trailer yelling "Barbara, lunch, I need lunch, honest, I washed my hands, twice."

Dr. Sven Blomquist Phd. , an exercise psychologist at the University of Minnesota is an expert on CBS (compulsive biking syndrome).  Speaking on condition of anonymity, he offered some insight on the carnage in Liberal KS.  " I've done a great deal of research on this condition, but boy, these people are really tweaked.  I've never seen it so bad.  They need some help.  I don't know how anybody could live with them."

Area man Josh Skeedle observing the scene from the sidewalk, said "one of those biker guys told me Liberal, Kansas was an oxymoron,  shucks, I don't get it, we got cows but no ox, and we ain't stupid."



Wednesday, May 1, 2013

BICYCLISTS INVADE DALHART TEXAS

A group of bicyclists arrived unannounced in Dalhart today according to Sheriff Clem Skeeter.  "Son of a gun they just showed up here.  It's a real burr under my saddle that that they didn't even call. I expect they are a bunch of tree huggin prius drivin liberal agitators lookin for trouble. They arrive all cocky in their tight spandex on their fancy carbon bikes  The thing is, they can't ride for shit.  They said it took them somethin like over 8 hours to ride in from Tucumcari.  Hell, it's only 95 miles.   They gave me some kind of bull pucky that they had a 25 mile an hour headwind.  They sound like a bunch of pansies to me. But what really bothers me, there are a bunch of foreigners in the group.  Makes me real suspicious."

Floris van Overlend of Amsterdam Netherlands was the first rider to arrive in Dalhart.  When asked about the slow time he said " it wasn't my fault we were so slow, we had to drag Tom Stenovec for the whole ride.  Heck, he didn't even take any pulls the last  15 miles.  What a sorry excuse for a cyclist."  Dave Pramann, another in the lead group, just shook his head in disgust at the mention of Tom's name.

Area man Buck Sturges when asked about the bicyclists replied " Hell, I don't got no problem with bisexuals,  they can do what they want"